Decision Making

Making decisions is difficult when there’s no right or wrong decision. Sometimes decisions are black and white but I’ve found that most times in my life I’m faced with decisions that are grey and grey.

I constantly see these people who don’t believe in God living their lives so simply and I really struggle with being jealous of that. When I’m faced with tough decisions I sit and contemplate them so much! Before I can stop myself, I’m already contemplating how this decision will affect the next ten years of my life. In contrast, I see non-believers making gut decisions about what they want to do with their lives and then they seem completely content after the fact. I see them living with complete disregard to God’s will and then still feeling so happy with their decisions. A part of me is always jealous of that (even though I know there’s a proverbs verse advising against being jealous of non-believers). I realized that maybe the entire reason I end up stuck is because I’m over-spiritualizing my own decision making process. I stand there at this wall and paralyze myself from making either decision because I’m too busy about wondering which one is the right one. I’m sitting around waiting for a sign from God through whatever means he chooses and sometimes it’s just as simple as doing what I want. That brings me to the four wills of God that Joy Eggerichs briefly taught on which changed my life really.

There are four times in Scripture where we see the verse ending in something like “…and this is the will of God.”

1.      Professing to believe in God

2.      Abstaining sexually in the areas in which you should abstain

3.      Giving thanks IN ALL THINGS

4.      Submitting to Authority.

So as long as you’re able to pursue those things you can continue to walk in freedom and kind of follow your heart.

            When it comes to over-spiritualizing things in our lives I think that kind of stems from a lot of the Christian lingo we hear on a frequent basis. We always hear people saying things like “and God told me” or “I heard God just speaking into my heart that…” and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with people saying that but I think subconsciously we’re left with thinking like ok but how did God’s will manifest itself into your heart or your life or your mind? Scripture? Counsel? Sermons? Literature? Coincidence? Because we all know God does not usually speak to us in an audible voice. Without knowing how His Will is manifesting for others it can be difficult to validate His Will when it manifests in our own lives sometimes (at least for me I guess). I think we’re kind of forced to wonder if that’s God’s voice or not. Is this unusual or not? Is this how God speaks to others? Am I making this up? Is it in my head? Perhaps this causes us to compare our relationship with God to the personal relationships others have with God. I’ve caught myself saying things like “So and So is a better Christian than I am.” Maybe that has to do with how we speak about our relationship with God to others. We use this over spiritualized lingo and others start to think that maybe their relationship with God isn’t the same as others and its therefore not as real. I actually know people who were going to church regularly and then decided they must not be a Christian because “[they] had never had God speak to [them].” Well depending on what that means, I haven’t either. Some people naturally do not over spiritualize and when we do we might push them away from our faith all together because we might make them feel that we’re the favorite child and they’re the ugly step child of God.

            I’ve found a personal way that I think combats over spiritualization and helps me to hopefully make decisions that are within God’s will and do not hinder me from following those four wills of God. It’s kind of about going with your gut sometimes. After Mike and I broke up freshman year of college I was going to Lynchburg College and I HATED it. One morning I just woke up and I called my dad sobbing asking him to pull me out of classes and take me home. I said I would do anything, get a job, take classes at nova, clean the house; I was desperate. Not once did I sit down and truly contemplate the potential impact of that decision. I think had I stayed I definitely could have grown in a super significant way but I also grew in a significant way when I did leave and I went to surround myself with family. I’m constantly encouraging people to take the more difficult path because I think struggles and trials bring us growth but I can’t personally say I’ve always done that. I was miserable and sad so I bolted. I didn’t think about what leaving would mean, I just wanted out. That’s a time in my life that really sticks out to me because I didn’t think about a decision (and it was a big one), I just did what I thought would make me happier. Unfortunately, most times its more difficult to make a decision without contemplating the potential consequences. In those times, flip a coin. I’m actually serious. I think a lot of times a coin toss is such a simple way to reveal your heart to yourself. Before flipping the coin and after assigning a decision to heads or tails I usually don’t know what I want and I’m just like “hmm what side will it land on!” But once the coin is in the air all of the sudden I know exactly which side I DON’T want it to land on and I know exactly which side I’m hoping to see once the coin hits the ground. The side it lands on is irrelevant but I think if you flip a coin you’ll know what you truly want to do.